MOTHER OF ALL CRAMPS AND EVERTHING ABOUT CHALETS & ADULTHOOD
And there I was thinking I was suffering from some strange chronic disease. That dull throbbing pain in the abdominal area. Was prepared to start drafting a will, bequeathing my CDs and books to all my loved ones (No $$$ involved, cos I have none...).
And it turns out, I am only surfing the crimson wave. Yet again too soon. Like hello!?!?!??! I just had it last month! I'm supposed to be having irregular periods. And I am used to irregular periods. So Auntie Crimson, you really don't need to pay me such frequent visits. Now, my life has been majorly disrupted. Shawn's birthday chalet is this coming Monday. And I highly doubt I'll be able to go to Wild Wild Wet as planned. Shucks. Now what da hell am I gonna do in between stuffing my face with chicken wings??? Sigh... Jackpot room, here I come... (Yet another sign that I have hit adulthood.)
Which brings me to my next point. You know you've hit adulthood when you are excited to go for a chalet because... Well just because it's been a long time since any of your friends had one. And you know you belong to "Club Senior (Citizens)" when you no longer try to catch the attention of the Ah Bengs from the chalet next door by repeatedly sashaying to the vending machine to get a drink even when you are not thirsty, hoping they'll 'zoot' you as you pass.
And what makes adulthood the most obvious? You no longer have to sneak bottles of alcohol to chalets and show (off) that you are damn mature cos you can knock back three bottles of fizzy drinks that they pass off as liquor from 7-11. Instead, you can openly swig from a beer can. In front of your parents. Hell, together with your parents.
Except, I think I'll pass on drinking. Gimme 10 more chicken wings instead. Thank you.
And I hope there are no Ah Bengs next door come the chalet on Monday. No 'zoot-ing' allowed, unless you are an Ah Beng in the age range of 26-30. But then you won't be an Ah Beng no more. You will be an over-the-hill-Lao-Beng. Just my cup of tea.